1. |
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Out of the restaurant, onto the pavement
I caught my own face in a window arrangement
Before I could pose, tilt my chin, rest my lips
I looked pissed; it’s no wonder I was left alone
Back in old Kyoto I pedaled my bicycle
Stared at the windows, hoped for a miracle
Wove through the cars, paused at convenience stores
Fucked my own journal, paper and pen
Oh Friend, where’d you go, where’ve you been?
I spent years on your arm, I spent years in your bed
Cursed your name at the ground, clung to you in a crowd
We were always so close, a house and her ghost
And where are you now, babe?
Flipped through the pages, oh the things I said
Lists and commandments, thou shalt not have it
Sipping and guilty, beer down the sink
I never could manage to drink alone
Laying on the futon I listened to rats in the wall
How they’d scuffle and fight through the night
I feared like a child, something dark was waiting
To do me some harm and the nights were so long
Oh Friend, where’d you go, where’ve you been?
I spent years on your arm, I spent years in your bed
Cursed your name at the ground, clung to you in a crowd
We were always so close, A house and her ghost
And where are you now, baby?
And where are you now, babe?
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2. |
Pastel Concrete
02:29
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Pastel concrete, boardwalk peach
A condo named after a town in Italy
Sea spray parking, you can cross beneath the overpass
To reach the sand, that still is free
A film, a feeling
A reel, I feel a part of something shining
Dreams we still can see
Ooh and we may still get paid for it
Ooh and we may still get paid for it
I can’t afford your love
I can’t afford your love
I can’t afford your love
I can’t afford, can’t afford
Your love
Lonely morning
My European clock tick ticking me to wake up in LA
A place of mourning
I land upon that checker square so tall it catches all the crimson air
I do not know you, but I do know your fight
I hope the casting goes alright next week
Ooh, and I hope you’ll be paid for it
Ooh, I hope you’ll be paid for it
I can’t afford your love
I can’t afford your love
I can’t afford your love
I can’t afford, can’t afford
Your love
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3. |
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Help me, help me help you
Give us something to keep us going
Your day ruins my day
Your gray colors my face
You turn your back but say good morning
I say I love you, you say you’re hungry
Have you read the phone?
There are people dying in another country and it’s our fault
Touch me over coffee, show me somehow what you want
I am the fire, you’re the freeze, killing flowers in their sleep
Drink up, drink your pride, drink your boredom
I’ll do the same
It’s like a dream, it’s like a door knob
Turn it once, turn it off
Tell me all about your pain
What I did to earn it, and say it loud
You grit your teeth, you make that face
You look down, I could lose my mind
Kiss me ‘fore you leave and let me tell you how I’m sorry
You are silent, I hear sirens chasing off some light in me
Tell me I am greedy, tell me something I’ll believe
Because you sure can kill a Sunday like no other I have seen
Now don’t you talk about the weather, make me take another number
Gotta get on stage tonight, we got two hours to make it right
And you can sing all of your songs about the way I did you wrong
And they’re all gonna clap for you and I’ll still crawl in bed with you
So help me help you
So help me help you
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4. |
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Holding my cold hands, cover up my mouth again
Rising from the bed, I wish to pull you up I leave instead
The carpets are new but the sheets are older than me and you
I bought extra pillows, extra towels, picked a room to house two
I tried to tend you like a garden
Water and a soft hand
Peel you like some fruit I cannot trust
Before I put you on my tongue
Holding my tongue as it holds everything and nothing steady
You want to kiss me ‘fore you leave, I leave my hands on my knees
I’m not ready
Let’s take us round the block, the sun is bright and shining
Oh the timing
Read to me the morning news
I’ll sleep somewhere where you can’t find me
I tried to tend you like a garden
Warm you in your soft bed
But you will burn a free man
And I’ll become a freezer
Won’t you ask me what is wrong
And press me when I lie
I know just how hard you try
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5. |
Road Song
04:09
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Let's drive this highway
List a few cities
Like every other road dog
In every other road song
You're the only man in this van
Tell me something I don't know
Five more hours today
I hate to DJ
Twenty more days to go
My songs are getting old
You're the only still thing now
Tell me something I don't know
They've got no room for us
But call us lucky
‘Cause the beer is free tonight
And maybe wine
Could you reach across the table
And find a way to give me something
Hey babe I've got this feeling
Have we been to this one before
The register in front
And the coffee by the door
Well I couldn't agree more
Then again, it is a chain
Your guess is my guess
It's all the same to me
We just wake up, drive, get to the bar, drink
talk to strangers, soundcheck, try to sing, try to sleep
We wake up, drive, get to the bar, drink
talk to strangers, soundcheck, try to sing, try to sleep
We wake up, drive, get to the bar, drink
talk to strangers, soundcheck, try to tell me
Something I don’t know
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6. |
Ex-Wife
03:27
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Don’t think I don’t know
How I seem to the suits in your hall
I know they ask you
Everything and nothing at all
Oh my geography
Here is one road I knew I would take
Nothing easy, but pleasing
Now take me out on vacation one more time
You’ve stacked the days
Pick the place, take the wheel and steer the way
I’ll slumber here in the passenger seat
Keeping my feet
On my side I’ve nothing to say
On my side I’ve nothing to say
I know she’s waiting
A golden woman on the ocean
Looks nothing like me
She busts you right open
Lingering phantoms
A friend you had, you loved, she was the one
What a shame, she made beautiful sons
Oh what a tragedy, all of our money
and no one is hungry, no one is hungry
In the morning in our bed
I wanted another, wanted another
Cradling your sleeping head
I wanted another, wanted another
You could never quite forget
You wanted another, wanted another
For all I did and all I said
I wanted another, wanted another, wanted another, wanted another,
wanted another, wanted another, wanted another, wanted another
Someday I’ll drive to the ocean and scream
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7. |
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Who are you?
Who’s your god? I want a piece, break one off
Where’d you find your light?
I wanna be a music box
You hold the love, it bathes you
Rose and cerulean
They believe, oh they believe, oh they believe, oh they believe
They believe, oh they believe, oh they believe, oh they believe
Baby, have I lost it all?
There was honey dripping in these walls
Dry, I licked and burned my tongue
I was hasty tearing towards the sun
I see the same patterns written in everyone
I write the same pages sitting alone in the corner of a
Bar in a town of folks I’d hate to know
Tell me is it real enough?
Who are you?
Who’s your god? I want your every word
Where’d you find your light?
I wanna be a singing bird
Talk of how they shared your cup
What an honor, caller number one
Would you fall for me, oh fall for me, oh fall for me, oh fall for me
Fall for me, oh fall for me, oh fall for me, oh fall for me
Honey, have I lost it all?
I tried to tease that sugar from every thought
They pushed you ‘round, you rose above
Now they twist their hands and call it love
I would be one of them, I’d rest my head
Cradled by something better than anything
Bitter, spreading out across my tongue
Tell me, is it good enough
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8. |
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Tell me I’m clever, tell me I’m pretty
Who is it that loves me, who is it that likes me
One more piece of kibble to outrun the hunger
I’ll stay with you, light of my life
Give me three in the morning, someone is still listening
I’m lonely, convince me I’m above being lonely
The world is so old now, it swells and it sweats
Salt cracked in the pavement, salt staining the bed
If you’re dying I’ll heal you, if you’re dead I’ll replace you
You’ll stay with me, light of my life
The world changes, I change
But you’ll stay the same
New body and face, youth clings to your frame
Pull me up from the dirt, pull me out of the dirge
Tell me I’m still pretty, that I ache more than her
Tell me all I’ve done wrong, there are things I should quit
It is three in the morning, my back feels like shit
Tell me I’m still worthy, tell me I’m still young
Lie to me light of my life
I love you, I hate you, I need you, where are you
I’ll tear up the floorboards to hold you again
I’ll cradle you soft, in my two loyal hands
Until they are sore and broken and cracked
But you’ll be still beautiful, you’ll be still young
And you’ll show me all of the things that I’ve done
Yes, you’ll be still beautiful, you’ll be still young
And you’ll show me how I was beautiful once
I am yours, light of my life
Always yours, light of my life
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9. |
Blue Has Gone Gray
04:28
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I went jogging around your neighborhood once to kill time
Oh I circled the pale cul de sac a few times to kill time
The lawns were cut clean, the trees were trimmed neat
The rocks were made of polyethylene
They didn’t fool me, perhaps they would fool someone
Now we find ourselves living in the kind of home we can make perfect
You know, a porch and a yard and room enough to make ourselves perfect
We talk of our hopes, pretend to buy homes
In the neighborhood we couldn’t dream to afford
And hope the nights clear up in time for the weekend
‘Cause the air smells of pine
Burning sap in the night
Oh I can’t see the sky but I bet it’s beautiful
Would you sit just for now
Catch my breath on your brow
Oh the blue has gone gray
But the sky looks beautiful, beautiful today
Now lay with me still in our bed let us listen to darkness
A dog in the distance, the cans rattling from the park block
The pulse of my thumb
The pulse of your thumb
‘Cause the air smells of pine
Burning sap in the night
Oh I can’t see the sky, but I bet it’s beautiful
Would you sit just for now
Catch my breath on your brow
Oh the blue has gone gray
But you sure are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
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10. |
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The blood it always leaves my fingertips
My hands, they tend to stay like this
But with them I can cool your hot head
No one’s beating at the door for you
Sometimes I synchronize our breathing
Try to slow my pace to yours while you’re sleeping and
Listen as you stop and start and stop
Until you wake up gasping
Good morning baby,
Quick, before you forget
Where were you baby
Oh what I’ve dreamed
Oh what I’ve dreamed
Hey where do you go when you’re not here
You are a fragile room, I’m a one way mirror
I lay your past out on a jewelry counter
And look at it
I dream that you betray me once a month
I hold your resting hand while I play it back
It isn’t that I wish to be unfurled
I think I just want to burn
I think I just want to burn
Good morning baby, don’t you wonder about me
Good morning baby, ask me something
Ask me something
Hey where do you go when you’re not here
You are a fragile room, I’m a one way mirror
I lay your past out on a jewelry counter
And look at it
Hey where do you go when you’re not here
You are an empty room, I’m a volunteer
I trace my fingers round your cracked veneer
And pick at it
You let me pick at it
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11. |
Wild For You
04:48
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I’m cleaning our place
Cutting out nightshades and doing what pays
Today I long to run wild with you
It’s been half a year
But the chairs are still warm from what was once here
I fear I’ve still got to go wild for you
Winter fruit tastes like water, I don’t even bother
We earn and we order
I yearn to run wild with you.
‘Cause If we should follow every rule
We could pin ourselves down, wings to the ground
Tar weathered backs pasted to glass
What a beauty was found
What a beauty was found
I don’t weigh a thing
Bear down like the October rains
For shame, I wasn’t kinder to him
Because the ugliest names took up the worst kind of space
Enough, no one’s a fuck up.
Still I can be darling, I’ve just authored my warning
Hold your ground or I’ll take you down
There are tales in the woodwork
I’ve seen dreams I can’t unlearn
One hand under your collar
I’ve had you since summer, don’t wander
‘Cause you’re seated before me and empty
Your clothes they just hold your shape
And when I am here you miss me
And when I am gone you stray
And when you are here you’re nothing
And when you are gone I crave
‘Cause there was a day when you latched onto me
When we wrote others off with no ceremony
We have two thousand words on an LED screen
Now I want to go wild for you
Cause the blackest of ink in a deep, dirty sink
Washes out like the mold on our bathroom ceiling
Well it always grows back, but I love the attack
The part where we make ourselves clean
And I can’t forget anything that was said
Any reason for exile or embarrassment
Here’s the easiest thing:
I wake, you are here, I’m relieved
Now wake up and run wild with me
Wake up and run wild with me
I just want to be wild for you
I just want to be wild for you
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MAITA Portland, Oregon
"I Just Want To Be Wild For You" available now on Kill Rock Stars.
MAITA uses her songs -- bursting, overflowing with language and sharp turns of phrase -- as a forum for unvarnished expression."- KEXP
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